When your job requires you to be in competition for members’ attention with thousands of other girls, any feelings of jealousy that might come up are absolutely normal. Seeing other camgirls showered with tokens and gifts when you’re having a bad night is the last thing any one of us wants to experience. Yet, it’s the reality of camming, and you need to change your thinking around to be able to have a long and successful camming career.
Here Are Some Ways to Overcome It:
Rule #1: Do not watch other girls, and limit your social media viewing
It’s common to go online and watch other girls’ stream either out of boredom or to see what the other girls are doing and how well their night is going. While it’s perfectly okay to do in moderation (it can be great entertainment and you can even tip the girls if you’re feeling generous), it does seem to cause a lot of insecurity and feelings of jealousy, because you can see with your own eyes when a girl is getting a ton of tokens and attention. You then start the comparison and insecurity cycle, where you begin to doubt yourself and your abilities and even be afraid of logging on, because you don’t feel like you can measure up. The same thing can happen with social media – seeing perfectly chosen and Facetuned selfies and screenshots of massive tips on other girls’ profiles can only generate negativity, especially if you’re already getting down on yourself and feeling like you’re not good enough, or that you’ll *never* be successful enough.
Remember: Comparison is the thief of joy. Watching other girls and seeing how well they’re supposedly doing on cam (you don’t know what goes on behind the scenes) does not benefit you in any way, and only causes insecurity, wastes time, and takes your attention away from YOU.
Rule #2: Don’t get possessive over members – You don’t own them
Say that you do get into the habit of watching other camgirls, either before or after your shift. What may unfortunately happen is that you notice one of your tippers hanging out in another girl’s room and… tipping her, maybe even more than he normally tips you. This is a bit of a horror scenario for any camgirl. Feelings of jealousy are likely to come out and you can became pretty enraged. One thing to remember is that members are not tied to you and are allowed to tip anyone they want and be online at times you’re not. If you were to follow Rule 1, you would never have to experience this very unpleasant situation.
However, if you happen to, take a few breaths, realize that the person on the other side of the screen has his own life and makes his own decisions independently about who to tip, and you being upset or angry at him won’t help in any way. In fact, it may alienate the very member that you want to keep. So, staying offline when you’re not streaming is a very good solution in preventing a lot of jealousy and unnecessary anger.
Rule #3: Figure out coping skills for when you’re feeling jealous and insecure
We are not perfect and the temptation to check up on other girls or your high tippers may be too strong sometimes to resist. So, when you do see a girl doing well or talking to your high tipper, here are some of the things you can do to make yourself feel better and less emotionally reactive. A great strategy is to just walk away and switch your thoughts toward something else, like going for a walk, cleaning your camroom, doing your nails, cooking dinner, etc. Just about anything (as long as it’s healthy) would be a great way to modify your thoughts and get away from the situation that may be causing you pain.
If that doesn’t work, try working through your feelings to really get to the bottom of why you’re reacting this way or this strongly. You can journal or talk to someone supportive about it. If you feel like your feelings of insecurity and jealousy are taking over your life and thoughts, it may also be time to speak to a therapist who will be able to help. There are also many ways to help yourself with consistent and self-compassionate self-care (See my post about it here). Camming is tough and can really play a number on your self-esteem if you’re not careful enough, so take time to take care of yourself! 💖
Hope this post was helpful. See my Beginners Manual and Ways to Protect Your Safety and Security While Camming.