Dealing with Loneliness, Isolation, and Secrecy as a Camgirl

camming secrets
 
Camming is not all fun and games (or adoration and gifts). It’s fraught with serious mental health challenges like loneliness, isolation, and secrecy. As a camgirl, you not only face challenges of working for yourself, but also having to deal with the societal stigma regarding sex work, and keeping it a secret from even your closest friends and family members. It’s really no wonder that a lot of girls burn out within a few years and go back to “vanilla” work (aka “normal”, socially-acceptable jobs). My estimate is that a camming career last on average anywhere from 3 to 5 years.

Within that time, you can develop and exacerbate all sorts of mental disorders due to pure social isolation that can come with camming. Anxiety, social anxiety, depression can unfortunately become very present when all you do is interact online instead of the “real world”. When your time is spent on cam and your mind is constantly occupied with ideas of what to do during your next cam shift, you start to separate yourself from your previous life, the things you used to do and the people you used to be around.

Living every day with a lie and being secretive about what you do all day can wreak havoc on your mental state. It can lead to burnout, substance use and abuse and send you down a dark hole.  

So, what can you do to combat this, assuming the benefits you get out of camming outweigh the negatives?

 

First, try to not completely isolate yourself from your old friends and activities

Isolation and ensuing loneliness only alienates you further and locks you into your self-imposed box. It’s a good idea to keep seeing your old friends and not changing up your life too fast too soon. If you were going to an exercise class or another activity, continue with it, so that you don’t feel like you’re completely cut off from the world, spending your days in your camroom. You need to keep some normalcy in your life, so that your mental health doesn’t suffer. Plus, exercise is great for balancing and improving your mood!

 

Create a daily schedule that includes time with others and self-care

Having consistency in your daily life will help you feel confident and in control. Make sure you are not going on streaming binges/camathons and then spending days to recover. Having a set time for your camming shifts, as well as time to yourself (self-care is SO important when you’re a camgirl!), plus spending time with others will ensure you have a more well-rounded life. Moderation is key, even though it will be tempting to devote all your time and energy to camming when the earnings start to pick up. Remember, that while you do socialize on cam, you also need proper, face-to-face positive and friendly interactions. Don’t underestimate its impact it plays on your psyche.

 

Share your secret with someone you can trust

Keeping this double life going is hard. It weighs on you and can create a lot of pain and suffering. You might not even feel it at first, since you may be excited and exhilarated by what it’s like to make more money than you ever thought possible! However, at some point the excitement will wane, and you might be left with some unresolved issues about your job, your self-worth and this massive secret that you have to keep from others. Some girls may be lucky and be able to disclose their job to their parents, but most will keep it secret. In this case, it’s a really good idea to find a counselor you can trust, so you can work through some of the emotional issues. Journalling might help too, or finding a good friend to confide in. The point of this is to not keep your emotions hidden, and to express them in a healthy way.

Camming is hard, and you have to look out for yourself, because no one will do it for you. Take a look at my Camgirl Self-Care post for some more tips!

Jealousy in the Camming World – How to Overcome It

jealousy camgirl
 
When your job requires you to be in competition for members’ attention with thousands of other girls, any feelings of jealousy that might come up are absolutely normal. Seeing other camgirls showered with tokens and gifts when you’re having a bad night is the last thing any one of us wants to experience. Yet, it’s the reality of camming, and you need to change your thinking around to be able to have a long and successful camming career.

 

Here Are Some Ways to Overcome It:
 

Rule #1: Do not watch other girls, and limit your social media viewing

It’s common to go online and watch other girls’ stream either out of boredom or to see what the other girls are doing and how well their night is going. While it’s perfectly okay to do in moderation (it can be great entertainment and you can even tip the girls if you’re feeling generous), it does seem to cause a lot of insecurity and feelings of jealousy, because you can see with your own eyes when a girl is getting a ton of tokens and attention. You then start the comparison and insecurity cycle, where you begin to doubt yourself and your abilities and even be afraid of logging on, because you don’t feel like you can measure up. The same thing can happen with social media – seeing perfectly chosen and Facetuned selfies and screenshots of massive tips on other girls’ profiles can only generate negativity, especially if you’re already getting down on yourself and feeling like you’re not good enough, or that you’ll *never* be successful enough.

Remember: Comparison is the thief of joy. Watching other girls and seeing how well they’re supposedly doing on cam (you don’t know what goes on behind the scenes) does not benefit you in any way, and only causes insecurity, wastes time, and takes your attention away from YOU.
 

Rule #2: Don’t get possessive over members – You don’t own them

Say that you do get into the habit of watching other camgirls, either before or after your shift. What may unfortunately happen is that you notice one of your tippers hanging out in another girl’s room and… tipping her, maybe even more than he normally tips you. This is a bit of a horror scenario for any camgirl. Feelings of jealousy are likely to come out and you can became pretty enraged. One thing to remember is that members are not tied to you and are allowed to tip anyone they want and be online at times you’re not. If you were to follow Rule 1, you would never have to experience this very unpleasant situation.

However, if you happen to, take a few breaths, realize that the person on the other side of the screen has his own life and makes his own decisions independently about who to tip, and you being upset or angry at him won’t help in any way. In fact, it may alienate the very member that you want to keep. So, staying offline when you’re not streaming is a very good solution in preventing a lot of jealousy and unnecessary anger.
 

Rule #3: Figure out coping skills for when you’re feeling jealous and insecure

We are not perfect and the temptation to check up on other girls or your high tippers may be too strong sometimes to resist. So, when you do see a girl doing well or talking to your high tipper, here are some of the things you can do to make yourself feel better and less emotionally reactive. A great strategy is to just walk away and switch your thoughts toward something else, like going for a walk, cleaning your camroom, doing your nails, cooking dinner, etc. Just about anything (as long as it’s healthy) would be a great way to modify your thoughts and get away from the situation that may be causing you pain.

If that doesn’t work, try working through your feelings to really get to the bottom of why you’re reacting this way or this strongly. You can journal or talk to someone supportive about it. If you feel like your feelings of insecurity and jealousy are taking over your life and thoughts, it may also be time to speak to a therapist who will be able to help. There are also many ways to help yourself with consistent and self-compassionate self-care (See my post about it here). Camming is tough and can really play a number on your self-esteem if you’re not careful enough, so take time to take care of yourself! 💖

 

Hope this post was helpful. See my Beginners Manual and Ways to Protect Your Safety and Security While Camming.

How to Manage Your Money as a Camgirl

camming investing
 
While camming is just about the most atypical job you can have, what you do with the money you earn should not deviate too much from the norm. Yes, you may be earning crazy money each month that you never thought you could, but you still need to be smart about how you spend it and what you do with it.

Camming is different from a “normal” job in this key way, and to be able to succeed and prosper as a camgirl, you need to take it into consideration.

Camming Career has an Expiration Date

Sad, but true: You cannot rely on camming to provide for you until retirement, due to the influx of new (read: young) girls joining cam sites every day as well as your own ongoing satisfaction with the job, which can include a lot of safety concerns as well as burnout. I talk about this more here and I estimate the length of an average camming career to be 3-5 years. Bearing that in mind, even though you may believe you will cam forever, you need to make sure you put away enough money each month to not end up broke and with a huge gap in your employment history if you have to look for other, “vanilla” work.

What are the steps to take to ensure a better financial future as a camgirl?
 
Have an Emergency Fund

I would first recommend having at least 3-months worth of living expenses saved in a savings account as your emergency fund, and have it be easily accessible, so you can use the money asap if the need comes. Since camming is so volatile, to feel safer, you should put away 6-months worth of basic living expenses, and not touch it unless an emergency comes up. This is basic financial advice that makes sense whether you work a 9-5 job, or cam for a living, though it’s particularly important to follow as a camgirl.

Invest Slowly and Wisely

Once you have an emergency fund, put at least 10% of each paycheck into an investment account to watch it grow. You don’t need to know anything about investing to be able to passively invest your money. One of the best platforms to do it on is WealthSimple that is “set it and forget it”. You can set up automatic monthly contributions to make the process even more easy and passive, and you don’t have to do it with a lot of money, either – even a few bucks here and there will do.

They do the hard work in selecting the right ETFs (exchange-traded funds) for you, and rebalancing multiple times a month, so you get the best return on your investment. It is the number #1 best thing to do for your financial future. Plus, it’s extremely satisfying watching your money grow each day. WealthSimple also offers a High Interest Savings account with rates higher than all the major banks offer. Click below to check out more! 
 
camming wealthsimple
 
Create a Budget, or At Least Strive to Spend Less

Separate your needs from wants. I know it’s tempting to spend money on things for yourself like clothes, lingerie, new electronics, etc, but you have to be mindful of the fact that your current income level might not last long. You don’t want to be regretting those purchases when you are scraping by without any means to pay for rent or food. You can make a budget in Excel or have a written one in a notebook, but the most important thing is that you try to stick to it and make it a priority to spend money on things that hold their value. Of course, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t spend any money at all, because it’s nice to treat yourself to things that you’ve worked hard for, but you have to keep the basic math in mind.

There have been too many instances to count where a camgirl gets used to her current income and then suddenly loses her highest tipper, or needs to stop camming suddenly, and has zero savings or anything to show for all the years she’s worked. Don’t make the same mistake, and put away money and invest even a small percentage of your income as early as possible. The financial security you’ll feel will be worth it.

 

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed financial adviser. The above references opinions and is for information purposes only.  It is not intended to be investment advice. 

5 Books Every Camgirl Should Read

best camming books guide
 
As a camgirl, especially one that is just starting out, it is so important to do some research before diving straight into camming. This way you won’t make any beginner mistakes that can potentially compromise your privacy and security and you won’t be influenced by members who think it’s ok to push new cam models around and demand things for very few tokens. Please be aware that there are certain members who do this specifically to new girls who don’t yet know how camming works and who don’t know their worth.

So, aside from reading through this Beginners Camming Guide, here is some reading material for newbies and established models alike!


Cam Girl 2.0: Make Boss Money at Home While Keeping Your Panties On

camming books

Great read for beginners! 

“How to make money from home on your own terms, without the secrecy and shame sometimes associated with sex work. Includes information on how to begin your career, from technical set up to how to find an audience and develop it – and from making fans for life to dealing with common pitfalls.”

Buy it on Amazon.






The Mistress Manual: The Good Girl’s Guide to Female Dominance

mistress manual camming

For any aspiring dommes! 😉

“Packed with great ideas, from how to carry yourself as a dominant to scenes to do with your submissive… enticing, charming and very very thorough.” ―Mistress Jezebel, Edenfantasys

“Mistress Lorelei Powers has such a wonderfully authoritative and insightful voice, with just enough snark, charm, and wit.” ―Leandra Vane, The Unlaced Librarian

“An essential purchase for any woman who wants to get the maximum pleasure out of dominating her man.” ―Forum

Buy it on Amazon.


Ho Tactics: How To MindF**k A Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring

ho tactics camming

“Ho Tactics: How To MindF**k A Man into Spending, Spoiling, and Sponsoring lays out the practical steps to evolve from a woman that goes Dutch to a woman that gets pampered. Ho Tactics provides the Sex-Free blueprint on how to turn any man into your personal ATM. Stop spending nights with men that can’t offer you anything but conversation, stop being understanding of men who are underachieving, stop settling and submitting, and learn how to seduce and destroy!”

Buy it on Amazon.




Influence

camming book

Influence, the classic book on persuasion, explains the psychology of why people say “yes”—and how to apply these understandings. Dr. Robert Cialdini is the seminal expert in the rapidly expanding field of influence and persuasion. His thirty-five years of rigorous, evidence-based research along with a three-year program of study on what moves people to change behavior has resulted in this highly acclaimed book.

You’ll learn the six universal principles, how to use them to become a skilled persuader—and how to defend yourself against them. Perfect for people in all walks of life, the principles of Influence will move you toward profound personal change and act as a driving force for your success.”

Buy it on Amazon.


How to Win Friends and Influence People

camming best book

“How to Win Friends and Influence People is just as useful today as it was when it was first published, because Dale Carnegie had an understanding of human nature that will never be outdated. Financial success, Carnegie believed, is due 15 percent to professional knowledge and 85 percent to “the ability to express ideas, to assume leadership, and to arouse enthusiasm among people.This is so true in camming, as many of you may have experienced first-hand. Great book to read!

Buy it on Amazon.


Hope you found this list useful!

Camgirl Blogs: How to Make One and Are They Worth It?

camgirl blogs

Camgirls and Blogging: A Match Made in Heaven?

Blogs are not only a great way to express your innermost thoughts, but for a cam girl they can be yet another way to earn income and create stronger, longer-lasting  relationships with members.

The question you need to ask yourself is: Is it worth it? Is making more money through increased interest, popularity and camroom traffic worth the time spent on a blog? It can be, if you love writing and sharing your thoughts on paper. Blogs can be very low-key and non-committal (unlike maintaining a paid membership site – You can read about them here), and if you like being creative and want an outlet for your thoughts, making a blog might just be right for you! It’s an underrated way for camgirls to foster better relationships wither her regulars while also making money semi-passively. A good example of a camgirl blog is Kickaz’s wordpress blog where members can get a more intimate look into her life and she can write about things she can’t fully express when she’s online.

I’m Interested! How do I Begin?

It’s really easy to get started with blogging, and you don’t need any specific skills and coding knowledge to get your blog up within literally minutes. Here is what you need to consider:

  1. Decide whether your blog will have PG content or if you’ll be posting NSFW pictures and videos of yourself. This will determine hosting provider you go with, as many don’t allow adult content to be posted.
  2. Decide whether you want to go with a free blog platform like WordPress (no ability to have ads, less customizability, “.wordpress.com” extension, no adult content) or Wix OR whether you want to have a self-hosted blog where you can choose your hosting company, have ads that earn you money, much more customization, and the ability to post adult content.

So, if you want to go with totally free blogging platform (remember, no adult content!), try out WordPress, Blogger, or Wix that has some really cool themes and is very easy to set up on.

However, my recommendation is to always go with a self-hosted blog, as it allows you complete control over your content and that is in addition to you having your own custom domain name (i.e. www.sexylexy.com NOT www.sexylexy.wordpress.com).

camming blogs

Which Hosting Company Should I Choose?

There are a number of hosting companies to pick from, and any of the ones listed below are a great choice. So, pick out your hosting provider, which will then take you through the install and integration with WordPress – a really easy process.

Allow Adult Content: HostGator, Dreamhost, GoDaddy

Allow Non-Adult Content: Bluehost. Great option if you want to keep your naked stuff on camsite only!

These hosting providers come with options like WHOIS protection, domain registration, storage, backups, anti-spam security.

Click on the banners below to check them out!


Ok, So How Do I Make Money?

Aside from just posting blog-style content and interacting with your members in comments, how can you earn money from blogs?

  • Sell videos with links to either your Manyvids account or post preview pics and include your offline tip button. 
  • Sell panties, various items (baked goods, crafts, art!), Skype dates, whatever you can think of! Always clearly display your tip link.
  • Generate interest for you OnlyFans account!
  • Have all of your social media links,  your cam profile, and your Amazon wishlist in one place, so that members can easily reach you and tip you.
  • Have banner ads that will passively earn you money from clicks.

Let me know if you have any questions. Good luck!