Dealing with Loneliness, Isolation, and Secrecy as a Camgirl

camming secrets
 
Camming is not all fun and games (or adoration and gifts). It’s fraught with serious mental challenges like loneliness, isolation, and secrecy. As a camgirl, you not only face challenges of working for yourself, but also having to deal with the societal stigma regarding sex work, and keeping it a secret from even your closest friends and family members. It’s really no wonder that a lot of girls burn out within a few years and go back to “vanilla” work (aka “normal”, socially-acceptable jobs). My estimate is that a camming career last on average anywhere from 3 to 5 years.

Within that time, you can develop and exacerbate all sorts of mental disorders due to pure social isolation that can come with camming. Anxiety, social anxiety, depression can unfortunately become very present when all you do is interact online instead of the “real world”. When your time is spent on cam and your mind is constantly occupied with ideas of what to do during your next cam shift, you start to separate yourself from your previous life, the things you used to do and the people you used to be around.

Living every day with a lie and being secretive about what you do all day can wreak havoc on your mental state. It can lead to burnout, substance use and abuse and send you down a dark hole.  

So, what can you do to combat this, assuming the benefits you get out of camming outweigh the negatives?

 

First, try to not completely isolate yourself from your old friends and activities

Isolation and ensuing loneliness only alienates you further and locks you into your self-imposed box. It’s a good idea to keep seeing your old friends and not changing up your life too fast too soon. If you were going to an exercise class or another activity, continue with it, so that you don’t feel like you’re completely cut off from the world, spending your days in your camroom. You need to keep some normalcy in your life, so that your mental health doesn’t suffer. Plus, exercise is great for balancing and improving your mood!

 

Create a daily schedule that includes time with others and self-care

Having consistency in your daily life will help you feel confident and in control. Make sure you are not going on streaming binges/camathons and then spending days to recover. Having a set time for your camming shifts, as well as time to yourself (self-care is SO important when you’re a camgirl!), plus spending time with others will ensure you have a more well-rounded life. Moderation is key, even though it will be tempting to devote all your time and energy to camming when the earnings start to pick up. Remember, that while you do socialize on cam, you also need proper, face-to-face positive and friendly interactions. Don’t underestimate its impact it plays on your psyche.

 

Share your secret with someone you can trust

Keeping this double life going is hard. It weighs on you and can create a lot of pain and suffering. You might not even feel it at first, since you may be excited and exhilarated by what it’s like to make more money than you ever thought possible! However, at some point the excitement will wane, and you might be left with some unresolved issues about your job, your self-worth and this massive secret that you have to keep from others. Some girls may be lucky and be able to disclose their job to their parents, but most will keep it secret. In this case, it’s a really good idea to find a counselor you can trust, so you can work through some of the emotional issues. Journalling might help too, or finding a good friend to confide in. The point of this is to not keep your emotions hidden, and to express them in a healthy way.

Camming is hard, and you have to look out for yourself, because no one will do it for you. Take a look at my Camgirl Self-Care post for some more tips!

How to Start Camming on a Limited Budget

start camming guide
 
If you’re looking to try out camming but worried that you don’t having the right tools for the job, do not fear! The reality is, it is much easier to become a camgirl than you may think, and doesn’t require much money (or any at all!).

If you’ve already decided that you’d like to cam, and settled on a camsite or two (See my post about best camming sites here), the fact that you don’t have the latest and greatest technology (webcam, laptop, lights), shouldn’t hold you back from taking the leap. It is better to start sooner rather than later and not let perfectionism and hesitation stand in your way.

 
So, Here Are All The Basics You Need To Start Camming Today!

Webcam 

webcam camming logitech brio

Laptops these days have built-in webcams, though the quality is often not the greatest, so I would urge you to spend some money on a webcam before you start. A basic webcam, like this one from Logitech, is only about 20-30 bucks and should be affordable enough. You can also find used ones on Craigslist. After you reach your first payout, webcam should be one of the first things you upgrade, along with lights. A better webcam will equal more views, and more views equal more tips. Though, most of us have started with just a basic webcam.

 

Lights 

camming ring lights

Lights are often neglected by beginner camgirls, because they don’t realize how important good lighting can be. It elevates the quality of your feed and makes your basic webcam produce better video. Before you buy your first umbrella lights, you can use the lights you already have in your house. Just position a few table lamps or floor lamps in front of you to create a great diffused light. If you do want to buy something before you start, I recommend a ring light, which is pretty affordable!

 

Laptop

alienware laptop camming

Laptop is the least critical of the camming tools, so as long as your internet speeds are okay, you will do fine with whatever laptop you have at the moment. After a few months of camming, you could upgrade your laptop to one with a better processor, more RAM/memory, and better graphics. Here are some great options for when you’re able to buy an improved laptop for camming.

 

Lingerie 

camming lingerie

When starting out, lingerie requires the least upfront investment, because you can start camming in your regular clothes/pjs/underwear. In fact, lots of members love the girl-next-door, “normal” look and are not expecting you to be coming online in fancy lingerie. I think most of us start out this way… and some girls continue with this look for the rest of their camming career! However, if you want to have some outfits before you start, I recommend Pinkcherry or Yandy for affordable lingerie.

 

Toys 

Like lingerie, you definitely do not need any toys to get started, and some girls will *never* use any toys in their shows. It is totally up to you and what your comfort level is. If you’re interested in getting some toys, my recommendation is Lovense tip-activated toys, because not only are they fun, but they also make you money!

lovense camming toys

 

Don’t be intimidated when you see camgirls with perfectly set up camrooms, with the latest and greatest technology or fancy lingerie. Rememeber that they all started the same way and no one is an expert starting out.

Check out my Beginners Guide to get started today! Good luck and let me know if you have any questions.


Jealousy in the Camming World – How to Overcome It

jealousy camgirl
 
When your job requires you to be in competition for members’ attention with thousands of other girls, any feelings of jealousy that might come up are absolutely normal. Seeing other camgirls showered with tokens and gifts when you’re having a bad night is the last thing any one of us wants to experience. Yet, it’s the reality of camming, and you need to change your thinking around to be able to have a long and successful camming career.

 

Here Are Some Ways to Overcome It:
 

Rule #1: Do not watch other girls, and limit your social media viewing

It’s common to go online and watch other girls’ stream either out of boredom or to see what the other girls are doing and how well their night is going. While it’s perfectly okay to do in moderation (it can be great entertainment and you can even tip the girls if you’re feeling generous), it does seem to cause a lot of insecurity and feelings of jealousy, because you can see with your own eyes when a girl is getting a ton of tokens and attention. You then start the comparison and insecurity cycle, where you begin to doubt yourself and your abilities and even be afraid of logging on, because you don’t feel like you can measure up. The same thing can happen with social media – seeing perfectly chosen and Facetuned selfies and screenshots of massive tips on other girls’ profiles can only generate negativity, especially if you’re already getting down on yourself and feeling like you’re not good enough, or that you’ll *never* be successful enough.

Remember: Comparison is the thief of joy. Watching other girls and seeing how well they’re supposedly doing on cam (you don’t know what goes on behind the scenes) does not benefit you in any way, and only causes insecurity, wastes time, and takes your attention away from YOU.
 

Rule #2: Don’t get possessive over members – You don’t own them

Say that you do get into the habit of watching other camgirls, either before or after your shift. What may unfortunately happen is that you notice one of your tippers hanging out in another girl’s room and… tipping her, maybe even more than he normally tips you. This is a bit of a horror scenario for any camgirl. Feelings of jealousy are likely to come out and you can became pretty enraged. One thing to remember is that members are not tied to you and are allowed to tip anyone they want and be online at times you’re not. If you were to follow Rule 1, you would never have to experience this very unpleasant situation.

However, if you happen to, take a few breaths, realize that the person on the other side of the screen has his own life and makes his own decisions independently about who to tip, and you being upset or angry at him won’t help in any way. In fact, it may alienate the very member that you want to keep. So, staying offline when you’re not streaming is a very good solution in preventing a lot of jealousy and unnecessary anger.
 

Rule #3: Figure out coping skills for when you’re feeling jealous and insecure

We are not perfect and the temptation to check up on other girls or your high tippers may be too strong sometimes to resist. So, when you do see a girl doing well or talking to your high tipper, here are some of the things you can do to make yourself feel better and less emotionally reactive. A great strategy is to just walk away and switch your thoughts toward something else, like going for a walk, cleaning your camroom, doing your nails, cooking dinner, etc. Just about anything (as long as it’s healthy) would be a great way to modify your thoughts and get away from the situation that may be causing you pain.

If that doesn’t work, try working through your feelings to really get to the bottom of why you’re reacting this way or this strongly. You can journal or talk to someone supportive about it. If you feel like your feelings of insecurity and jealousy are taking over your life and thoughts, it may also be time to speak to a therapist who will be able to help. There are also many ways to help yourself with consistent and self-compassionate self-care (See my post about it here). Camming is tough and can really play a number on your self-esteem if you’re not careful enough, so take time to take care of yourself! 💖

 

Hope this post was helpful. See my Beginners Manual and Ways to Protect Your Safety and Security While Camming.

How to Manage Your Money as a Camgirl

camming investing
 
While camming is just about the most atypical job you can have, what you do with the money you earn should not deviate too much from the norm. Yes, you may be earning crazy money each month that you never thought you could, but you still need to be smart about how you spend it and what you do with it.

Camming is different from a “normal” job in this key way, and to be able to succeed and prosper as a camgirl, you need to take it into consideration.

Camming Career has an Expiration Date

Sad, but true: You cannot rely on camming to provide for you until retirement, due to the influx of new (read: young) girls joining cam sites every day as well as your own ongoing satisfaction with the job, which can include a lot of safety concerns as well as burnout. I talk about this more here and I estimate the length of an average camming career to be 3-5 years. Bearing that in mind, even though you may believe you will cam forever, you need to make sure you put away enough money each month to not end up broke and with a huge gap in your employment history if you have to look for other, “vanilla” work.

What are the steps to take to ensure a better financial future as a camgirl?
 
Have an Emergency Fund

I would first recommend having at least 3-months worth of living expenses saved in a savings account as your emergency fund, and have it be easily accessible, so you can use the money asap if the need comes. Since camming is so volatile, to feel safer, you should put away 6-months worth of basic living expenses, and not touch it unless an emergency comes up. This is basic financial advice that makes sense whether you work a 9-5 job, or cam for a living, though it’s particularly important to follow as a camgirl.

Invest Slowly and Wisely

Once you have an emergency fund, put at least 10% of each paycheck into an investment account to watch it grow. You don’t need to know anything about investing to be able to passively invest your money. One of the best platforms to do it on is WealthSimple that is “set it and forget it”. You can set up automatic monthly contributions to make the process even more easy and passive, and you don’t have to do it with a lot of money, either – even a few bucks here and there will do.

They do the hard work in selecting the right ETFs (exchange-traded funds) for you, and rebalancing multiple times a month, so you get the best return on your investment. It is the number #1 best thing to do for your financial future. Plus, it’s extremely satisfying watching your money grow each day. WealthSimple also offers a High Interest Savings account with rates higher than all the major banks offer. Click below to check out more! 
 
camming wealthsimple
 
Create a Budget, or At Least Strive to Spend Less

Separate your needs from wants. I know it’s tempting to spend money on things for yourself like clothes, lingerie, new electronics, etc, but you have to be mindful of the fact that your current income level might not last long. You don’t want to be regretting those purchases when you are scraping by without any means to pay for rent or food. You can make a budget in Excel or have a written one in a notebook, but the most important thing is that you try to stick to it and make it a priority to spend money on things that hold their value. Of course, this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t spend any money at all, because it’s nice to treat yourself to things that you’ve worked hard for, but you have to keep the basic math in mind.

There have been too many instances to count where a camgirl gets used to her current income and then suddenly loses her highest tipper, or needs to stop camming suddenly, and has zero savings or anything to show for all the years she’s worked. Don’t make the same mistake, and put away money and invest even a small percentage of your income as early as possible. The financial security you’ll feel will be worth it.

 

Disclaimer: I am not a licensed financial adviser. The above references opinions and is for information purposes only.  It is not intended to be investment advice. 

Preventing Camming Burnout: Essential Self-Care Tips for Camgirls

camming burnout
 
Camming is not an easy job – we all know this. Having to deal with beggars, scammers, and all-around awful people while still being entertaining and enticing to the people who do support you on cam is no easy task. Camming falls under the umbrella of helping jobs, where you expand a lot of your emotional energy toward your “clients” and often do not get much back. Therefore, burnout is so common in the camming field. You’ll see girls taking multiple days off from cam, and months even, because they’ve overextended themselves for the sake of their viewers and have neglected to take good care of themselves physically, emotionally, and mentally.

So, what does it take to successfully manage burnout while still maintaining a consistent cam presence and earning enough money?
 
BOUNDARIES
 
You need to have realistic expectations of yourself and set firm boundaries about what you will and won’t do, how often you’ll be on cam, and how available you’ll be OFF cam. I find that the off-cam presence is often the hardest one to be firm on, because you might feel that if you don’t give your members enough attention between camming sessions, they will forget about you and move on. While it may be true for some members, most will be understanding of you needing your private time outside of cam to recharge and do your own things instead of constantly doing Twitter status updates and tweeting sexy pics. The members who WON’T be ok are ones who will always expect too much from you and push your boundaries. You need to have a solid understanding of how much connection outside of cam is ok for YOU and to stick with it. Boundaries are so crucial to have, and I guarantee that you will have a greater peace of mind when your personal boundaries are not crossed by members.

How do you let them know what they are? You can either be direct and say that you will not be on Twitter much in the off-cam hours, or that you will take weekends off from social media completely, or that you won’t answer DMs. An indirect way of doing the same is simply doing it and waiting for members to catch on and not making exceptions. Firm personal boundaries equal a healthy state of mind. 💖
 
SELF-CARE

camming self care
 
You may think of self-care as taking bubble baths, getting your nails done, or getting a massage, and while those are all true, self-care may come in very different forms.

Self-care might be you taking a nice walk around town or a park. It might be disconnecting from social media and phone for a day and experiencing a day without interruptions. It’s giving your body some rest, not just physically, but emotionally and mentally too. It might be calling or texting a friend you haven’t talked to in a while because of your camming schedule, or even just reading a book. It might look different for everyone, but at the core of it is putting your needs first and caring for your own well-being.

You can think of taking care of yourself as investing in your camming career. The better your self-care and the firmer your boundaries, the more you can achieve without getting exhausted, spreading yourself too thin and eventually burning out. Burnout is not pretty, and unfortunately, it’s way too common in camming. It’s hard to get yourself back on cam after a burnout, because you may feel resentful, unmotivated and unwilling to put yourself back in the place that caused it. The best way out of this situation is to try to not get into it in the first place.
 
HERE’S HOW 👇

Start by figuring out how to take care of your basic physical needs, like prioritizing your sleep, having a stricter cam schedule (no camathons or camming too late at night), eating well and avoiding junk food and emotional eating. I know it may seem really appealing to order in after a long camming session, but doing that too often will drain your energy and lead to eventual weight gain. Make sure you go to the doctor for regular checkups and take whatever vitamins/supplements that make you feel better. (Try collagen for healthier skin, hair, and nails, and melatonin for better sleep). Exercise is a key component of self-care, whether it’s going to the gym, taking classes or just going on daily walks.

Emotional self-care involves doing things that make you feel good and keeping your mood stable. The instability of camming earnings and the up and down nature of the cam industry does not bode well for emotional stability. Adding the “camming high” after a good night on cam to the list is a recipe for an emotional disaster. Some ways to counteract this is to take time to yourself to relax and reflect on the day and perhaps meditate, journal, or spend time on a relaxing hobby. You can vent to your fellow camgirls or a supportive friend if you’ve had a bad day on cam. If you’re noticing that you’re feeling bad consistently, it may be a good idea to see a counselor, which can improve your mood immensely. Watch out for self-medication with drugs or alcohol. While they may bring relief in the short-term, they won’t be good for you at all in the long term.

Mental self-care can cover things like doing activities outside of camming that bring you happiness and feeling mentally stimulated. Let’s face it, camming is not exactly the most mentally-stimulating job out there, so you need to take care of that aspect outside of cam. Hanging out with friends, reading interesting books, maybe taking a class or even going back to school all encompass your mental well-being. It’s about knowing that there’s something outside of the camming bubble that can be mentally engaging and be something to strive for.

The combination of strong personal boundaries and consistent self-care will do wonders for you and prevent a potential burnout. You’ll be able to enjoy camming more and not lose yourself in it. If you have any more personal tips, share them below!
 
camgirl self care